The Washington Toast
Americas Favorite News Source
Satire, Opinions and Commentary

HOME     POLITICS     NEWS BEAT     OPINIONS     TOAST POLITICAL SHOP     MULTIMEDIA     DC COMEDY SCENE

The Day VP Joe Biden Almost Lit Off The Big One

As told by Bernie Miller; Presidential Janitor

One day I go into the Oval office and that stupid son‑of‑a‑bitch is sitting behind the Presidents desk sweating bullets, looking up at me like I'd just caught him jerking off, or something.

I walk over and see the Presidents computer screen all lit up with the launch codes and the doomsday clock ticking down past the 10 second mark, and it's obvious that he doesn't know how to shut the fucking thing off.  I shoved the VP out of the way, and lucky for him I knew the right buttons to push. The clock stops and the system reset it's self. The Vice President gets up, wipes the sweat from his brow and gives me 20 dollars and says, 'lets keep this between the two of us.' then he slaps me on the back and walks off. 

Can you imagine that! I save the world from nuclear Armageddon and all I get is a slap on the back and 20 bucks? Sheeeeit!